Dr. Sherry Ifft on how to actually build the lesson — ages, doorways, the seven laws, and a live Q&A.
SI
Dr. Sherry Ifft
The Day 2 recording is still being cut. Once it is up, setting VX_VIDEO_ID in this page turns on the player and makes all 70 timestamps deep links.
Day 1 was the argument. Day 2 is the manual.
If the first session asked why children walk away, this one answers what to actually do on Sunday morning: what a four-year-old can and cannot hold in her head, why children remember 10% of what you say and 90% of what they do, the seven laws that govern whether a lesson works, and how to build one around a single truth. It closes with 45 minutes of unscripted Q&A — the disruptive child, the co-teacher who doesn't prepare, the parent who criticizes you — and a working example of how one church runs its Sunday school.
Dr. Sherry Ifft has taught in 104 countries and spent ten years in Russia. She was a Christian school principal and a junior high science teacher. Most of what follows she has done herself, in rooms where nothing was guaranteed to work.
The fifth step to 100% is homework — something to do at home that puts the lesson into practice, with the parents brought in on it.
Don't teach in your own strength. Jesus was full of the Spirit and led by the Spirit before He did anything. Preparation is prayer first.
Match the child, not the curriculum. A three-year-old has three minutes. Build the hour out of segments.
Use all four doorways. Ears alone gets you 10%. Add eyes, their mouths, and their hands and you reach 90%.
Teach one truth per lesson. The story is only the method.
Ask questions that require thinking, then make them explain it in their own words and show you.
Review until they have it, even if it costs you the schedule.
Never embarrass a child in front of the class — and never argue with a parent or another teacher in front of the children.
“Who do we think we are that we could come into a classroom of children without being full of the Holy Spirit?”
“They know immediately when you're not prepared. If it's not important enough for my teacher to learn this, why should I?”
“The worst method is actually the one that you use all the time.”
“The story is simply a method. Focus on one truth.”
“I can teach you how to ride a bicycle, but I won't know if I was successful until you get on that bicycle and ride it.”
“If you're not willing to humble yourself to become like a child, I don't think you should be in children's ministry.”
“The more you learn, the more you realize that you don't know anything.”
In the order she taught it. Timestamps refer to the edited lecture-only cut.
She opened by finishing Day 1's last idea. Put the child's name into the verse: Johnny is wise in heart and willingly accepts and obeys commandments (Proverbs 10:8). Johnny grows and becomes strong in spirit (Luke 1:80). Johnny obeys his parents, therefore all will be well with him (Ephesians 6:1–3).
The practice: before class, while you're praying for your children, ask the Lord to give you a specific verse for each one. Then keep asking over time whether there's another to add. You are not only praying it — you're speaking it over them. Works for your own children as much as the ones in your classroom.
She held up a poppy seed roll from the breakfast table — bulochka s makom, a pastry she loved in Moscow — and pointed at the layers.
What you see when a child walks in is the outside layer. If you are full of the Holy Spirit and trusting Him, He can show you what's behind the facade and help you peel it back to reach the heart. What you observe is not the whole reality of that child. Only Jesus knows that. On your own you can't get past the surface. Through the Spirit you can.
Jesus was baptized, received the Holy Spirit, and was full of the Spirit and led by the Spirit into the wilderness. He did what the Spirit wanted — obedient to Him.
“If Jesus Christ, the Son of God, needed to be full of the Holy Spirit and led by the Holy Spirit — who do we think we are that we could come into a classroom of children without being full of the Holy Spirit, led by the Holy Spirit, dependent on the Holy Spirit?”
Her direct application: some of us need to repent, because we have been doing Sunday school in our own knowledge and our own strength. Not just when you walk into the room — when you sit down to prepare. She wouldn't lead a group repentance; she said the Lord convicts in love, and to deal with it before preparing the next lesson.
She encouraged churches without a preschool ministry to pray about starting one — and to prepare before the children arrive, not after.
The rule that reorganizes everything 14:28: a child's attention span in minutes is roughly his age in years. A five-year-old, about five minutes. A three-year-old, about three.
You still have them for a full hour — so break the hour into three-minute pieces. Welcome them and settle them. Teach a segment. Stop, stand up, stretch, sing something tied to the lesson, ask a question. Sit down. Teach the next segment. Every transition is also a review: Who was the story about? Zacchaeus. Do you want to learn more about him?
On coloring 17:52: their hands aren't developed, so use wider crayons and don't worry about the lines. And understand what the drawing is actually for — it isn't an art class. You won't know what they've drawn. That's the point. “Wow, that's beautiful. Can you tell me what it means?” The drawing exists to give you an opening to ask questions and check they understood. She has them draw obedience in different settings — at home, at the playground, at the store — then walks through each one: would God be pleased if you started pulling things off the shelves?
Her favorite age to teach, because they love learning and treat it as a challenge. They're gaining new words, new information, and much better physical control — so activities and games become possible.
On games 22:58. She raised the objection herself: this is church, we didn't come to play. Her answer: the purpose of a game is to help the child remember and to get him interested. Games are never there to fill time. Every game must review the theme of your lesson, or have them dramatize the story. And while they play, you get to ask questions — and they answer happily, because it doesn't feel like review.
When children enjoy the classroom, they learn more. When they're bored, or you're rigid and strict, they close off and turn their minds away.
On memorization 27:24: at this age they can memorize, so give them more than one verse — run a contest for who can learn the most. But always require the meaning. Memorizing a verse they can't explain is worth nothing.
The classroom Olympics. In her international Sunday school in Moscow — French, Russian, English and German speakers in one room, with translators — teaching was tedious and the constant translation distracted the little ones. Games solved it. She set up stations in each corner of the room with a helper at each, children facing the corner so they wouldn't be distracted. At each station a game — tossing a ball into a bucket, a relay — and to complete it you had to recite the memory verse or answer a question. She used it to review a full month or quarter of teaching. The children asked to do it again, and she made it a standing offer: come faithfully and learn your lessons, and every six weeks we'll hold another Olympics.
Books of the Bible by song 32:39. Asked flat, let's name the books of the Bible got resistance. Set to a song, it worked immediately — and then the children asked to show the church. The pastor let them line up on the stage, and one of the older children told the congregation we're going to teach you how to do this. The parents stood and sang along.
Start delegating 34:09. Stop doing everything yourself. Ask who can help pass out paper, hand out crayons, draw on the board. The confident ones raise their hands first; more follow when they see how easy it is. Give the shy child something very easy and build from there. Plan it in advance rather than improvising mid-lesson.
The goal behind all of it: that they can eventually study the Word for themselves, teach other children, pray aloud, and lead. They shouldn't just be sitting and listening. They should be doing.
A hard stretch. Puberty, changing bodies and interests, physical and emotional discomfort, sharp self-consciousness, and a shift from caring what parents think to caring what peers think.
Her analogy: it mirrors the toddler. A baby is entirely dependent. Then he walks, then runs, then he's into every cupboard exploring — but the moment he's frightened he runs back to be held, stays a second or two, then wants down again. The teenager is doing the same thing. Pulling away for independence while still needing the security underneath.
Both separations are necessary. It isn't that they stopped loving you — they're maturing, and becoming an adult requires being able to do things alone and feel confident doing them. When school wounds them they still come back to you, and what they need is: let's forgive. You can do this. I'm praying for you. Go back out and try again. Same as a child learning to walk who falls — you can coo over him, or you can say you're all right, stand up, try again.
College, or a job, and a wave of decisions nobody has prepared them for. She had no idea what she wanted to be, and no family she could talk to — what she had was a professor's wife who took her under her wing and became a spiritual mother to her.
The physiological fact she builds on: the body is mature, but the brain isn't finished until around 25, sometimes 30. The last thing to develop is abstract and critical thinking — the ability to weigh consequences.
The body is ready to marry and have children. The mind isn't there yet. The hormones are raging, the peer pressure is total, and the capacity to think through what if hasn't arrived.
So: pray for them specifically. And when they get angry, resist being treated as a child, and demand to make their own decisions — don't take offense. Don't let it block you from loving and encouraging them. You want the relationship intact so that when the crisis comes, he comes back to talk to you — because you can see the consequences he can't.
She argued the Bible gives us a clear picture of what a child should look like leaving Children's Ministry, and read a list of goals — noting these weren't in the handout.
Upon graduation, a child should: know Jesus Christ as personal Savior · be filled with the Spirit · be trained in the basic disciplines of Christian life · know the books of the Bible, their central message and key passages, and how to apply them daily · have ministered salvation and healing to their peers · know the purpose and goals of the church · worship freely and skillfully, with adults as well as peers · be developing in spiritual gifts · have established relationships with adults and peers that meet their Christian social needs · understand and be prepared for water baptism and communion · have experienced pastoral care · and understand missions, having been directly involved in a missions project.
Several of these carry a sting:
Faith development standards by age 58:17. She read sample benchmarks — infants recognizing and feeling safe with nursery workers; preschoolers naming the two divisions of the Bible, reciting 7 to 10 verses, participating in sung and spoken worship, telling others about God's character, creation, and love; first through third grade listing the New Testament books in order, reciting 10 to 17 key verses, telling the stories of ten Bible characters, outlining the major events from Abraham to Christ, and listing the twelve disciples.
She stopped on that last one: “I'm a full-time minister and I can't even do that, because I wasn't trained when I was young.” “They're really capable of doing it. We just don't teach them.”
The recommendation 1:02:15: get a Children's Ministry manual for your church, covering training, responsibilities, discipline, how to present the gospel, and what to do if you suspect something is wrong at home. So everyone who works with children knows what's expected — and knows this is not babysitting.
The New Testament gives the birth, the escape to Egypt, then jumps to age twelve, then to age thirty. She takes the age-twelve account as deliberate: in that culture, twelve was the end of childhood. So Luke 2 is a portrait of a finished Children's Ministry graduate.
“The child grew and became strong in spirit” 1:11:54. Goal one is visible spiritual growth. Physical growth takes time; intellectual growth takes thinking; spiritual growth is a process of obedience. She took it to John 14 — if you love me you will keep my commandments, and if anyone loves me he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come and make our home with him.
How that works in practice: when you obey, He draws close, and you sense His presence in worship or in the Word — and there aren't words for it, but it produces joy that makes you want to obey more. The reward for obedience is His nearness, which produces more obedience. She described asking, newly saved at 25 with no background, how do I love you, God? The answer she got: trust and obey.
“How do we know our children are growing spiritually? Because we see them obeying the Scriptures we've taught them. If you don't see that growth, it's time to evaluate the way you're teaching.”
“Filled with wisdom” 1:20:43. She separates three things: knowledge (I can read it and say what it says), understanding (I can explain what it means), and wisdom (I can put it into practice in a real situation). Most teaching stops at the first two.
Her method for the third: sit down and think through five areas of the child's life — home, church, school, the neighborhood, and out at a store or mall — and prepare a specific example of applying the truth in each. Then think through the relationships inside each area: parents and siblings at home; teacher, principal and classmates at school; at the store, whoever they're with, the clerks, and the owner's property. Be specific. They can't think abstractly yet, so break the theme into concrete pieces. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Twelve years old, in the temple 1:25:12. Mary and Joseph travel a day toward Jericho assuming He's with the caravan, then search for three days. They find Him among the teachers, and everyone is astonished at His understanding and His answers.
He's twelve. He knows the faith so well the leaders are amazed — and he's confident enough to question the top leaders of his religion. Do your children have that? Would your pastor be astonished at their understanding of the Word?
“My Father's house, my Father's business” 1:30:21. He isn't being disrespectful — He's asking a real question. And He already knows God is His Father, that He belongs in His Father's house, and that He has a duty there.
Her questions to the room: Do your children know God as Father? Do they know they belong in His house? Do they know it's their honor to serve Him? Do they know God has a purpose for their life — Ephesians 2:10, handcrafted for works prepared in advance?
She anchored it in her own story again: God called her to be a missionary at ten, but nobody in her church ever spoke about missions or salvation. She should have been prepared for that calling. Instead she lost years.
“Habitually obedient” 1:33:53. After astonishing the nation's religious leaders, He went home to Nazareth and lived in habitual obedience to His parents. No pride in Him. She drew the lesson directly: help your children guard against spiritual pride.
Small tools 1:36:24. She passed around a Romans Road bookmark for memorizing the plan of salvation, and a two-sided card with a teacher's prayer on one side and a parent's prayer on the other — asking for wisdom, for peace and protection over the classroom, that every child who enters feels God's love, and for discernment to see each one as God's unique creation.
She asked the room for the worst teaching method. The answer she wanted: lecture — and she made everyone repeat the word back several times, which was itself the demonstration. Lecture kills the interest of the child. If you supervise teachers who lecture, pull them aside.
Not being prepared, and reading off the page, were the next answers. Then she gave the one nobody says:
“The worst method is actually the one that you use all the time.” Children get bored with it. They've seen it. Change your method. Make the class unexpected.
On PowerPoint 1:43:12. Her personal position, stated as such: she wouldn't use it in Sunday school. It teaches only the mind, the children engage with a screen instead of with you, and it's the same method they already sit through all week at school. Fine occasionally, for a review — not every week.
She drew each one on the whiteboard, quickly — don't stand with your back to the class, and you don't have to be an artist.
The ears — 10%. That's the ceiling for words alone, and less if you're boring. She told the Zacchaeus story flatly, then again with energy and tone, to show the difference. Tone helps. It's still 10%.
The eyes — 50% 1:48:05. Facial expression, hands, body, dramatizing, moving around the room instead of standing rooted behind a pulpit. Plus whiteboard, pictures, maps, and having them follow along in the Bible. On showing a picture: hold it out at the right height, keep your hands off the image, keep your face visible, and turn so every child can see.
Their mouth — 70% 1:51:56. “It's not your mouth. It's their mouth.” Repetition, answering questions, reciting verses, songs directly tied to the lesson, and reading the Bible aloud — hearing their own voice while seeing the words. She named the failure mode plainly: we end up doing most of the talking while the children sit and listen. Her frame: the first part of the lesson is you showing and telling. The review is when they show and tell you — and you are quiet.
Hands and body — 90% 1:57:43. Drawing, crafts, skits, reenactment, songs with motions, movement games — all tied to the one truth.
Zacchaeus, worked four ways 2:00:20. Voice only. Then voice plus expression. Then acting out the climb and the branch herself. Then calling three children up to be the crowd blocking a shorter child who jumps and pushes and still can't see.
On volunteers: it took a long time to get three people to come up, and she used that. “It just means you have to be willing to humble yourself and be like a little kid. A lot of teachers aren't willing to do this. I just proved it.”
The Noah game 2:05:33. Teaching obey my mommy and daddy through Noah. She is the voice of God; the children answer “Yes, Lord, I'm listening” with a hand to the ear. Then: Noah, take your saw — and everyone saws. Noah, take your hammer — bonk, bonk, bonk. Why? Because obeying a parent requires listening carefully and then doing exactly what you're told, and the game trains precisely that, using every doorway at once.
When someone raised an objection to that style 2:13:13, her answer was direct: create a method you're comfortable with — but “if you're not willing to humble yourself to become like a child in order to lead them to the Lord, I don't think you should be in children's ministry.” If a teacher refuses, sit down and show them Matthew 18. Whoever humbles himself and becomes like a little child is the greatest in the kingdom — because he's serving those children and getting down to their level so they can understand.
Getting to 100% 2:14:49: homework. Not written work — something to do at home that applies the lesson. A coloring page with the memory verse and a line for the parents, and an instruction to the child: go home and teach your mom and dad what you learned.
Will every child do it? No. Some will. Then bring the parents in deliberately: hold a parent-teacher meeting, hand out the term's lessons and themes with questions for family Bible study, and tell them what's coming home. Some will say they don't need it. Others will thank you — because they know they're supposed to be teaching their children and have no idea how. “I didn't get saved till I was an adult and I have no example to follow.”
Teach from your heart, not just facts. This is where most teachers fail — and children know instantly.
No attention, no learning. Eliminate distractions and deal with behavior before continuing.
Use vocabulary they already have. Listen to them talk so you know what that is.
Build a bridge from something concrete they already know to the new truth.
No thinking, no learning. Avoid yes/no questions — they guess from your face.
They must explain it in their own words and show it in action, or you don't know they learned it.
Don't move on until they understand and can apply it. If they didn't get it, reteach it.
Then she proved law seven by using it on the room 2:49:59. She taught the seven laws as a call-and-response chant with hand motions — be prepared, get their attention, simple words, connect to their life, think, practice, review — then had everyone stand, then called the laws out of order, faster and faster, until the room had them cold.
“You just memorized those. All I did was have a fun, active review that you had to participate in. You used your ears, your eyes, your mouth, your whole body. You are created in God's image — which means you can be creative too.”
A real problem she treated seriously: the same confident child answers every time, and the shy ones stop even trying, because what's the point.
Tuva 2:38:09. Working among the Tuvan people near the Mongolian border, she found adults — teachers — so afraid to speak that they shook and sweated at the thought of praying aloud, having been belittled for years. Nothing worked; they wouldn't even answer yes or no.
She had a very shy teenage girl traveling with her, and pressed her to stand up and present an object lesson. The girl was petrified. Sherry told her: these people can't get past their fear, but if you overcome yours in front of them, it opens their minds to think — if she can, I can. The girl did it. Afterward the group began answering. One man got up to speak, ran out of the room to be sick, and came back and did it well — he was intelligent, and had simply been pushed down so long he had no confidence left.
“As you're helping introverts to respond, you're helping them for the rest of their lives.”
The grouping trick 2:42:29: when you split into small groups, put the talkers in one group and the quiet ones in another. Don't mix them. The quiet people turn out to have a great deal to say once they aren't competing to say it. (She noted she is introverted herself in a small group of strangers — the platform is a gift, not a personality.)
Draw an outline with four parts and a heart in the middle. The heart of your lesson is the one Bible truth you're teaching.
One truth 3:00:44. A single Bible story can carry many truths. Pick one. The story is only the method — Jesus taught through parables, and the disciples weren't meant to memorize the stories but to receive the truth inside them. Because children's brains aren't fully developed, one truth at a time.
Then the purpose, in three parts 3:02:36 — the same progression as knowledge, understanding, wisdom:
Every part of the lesson has to point back at that one truth. The five parts:
Choose the memory verse to match the one truth, not the other way around.
Which laws land where 3:13:55: law one everywhere. In the introduction, law two (attention), law three (language), and above all law four — build the bridge. Give a real-life example from the child's life, not yours. “They don't care or don't understand anything about an adult life.”
Why create lessons if you have curriculum 3:06:20: because going through the process yourself is how you learn to evaluate what you're handed. Not all curriculum is good, and none of it was written for your specific room. Most of it, in her experience, is weak on questions and weak on application, and gives too few activities. Do it once yourself and you'll either appreciate your curriculum properly or see exactly where to strengthen it. And: always prepare more activities than you have time for, because a class that ends early with bored children is a waste.
Introduction — two puppets. Masha and Sasha are outside playing. Sasha's mother calls him in to eat; he ignores it. Masha asks, isn't that your mom? Don't worry, she'll call again. She calls again; he hides behind a tree. Then comes the warning about a spanking, and he bolts. Then Sherry asks the children: did Sasha obey his mom? Some say yes, some no. You don't correct them — you're getting them thinking about what obedience means.
The bridge: Thank you for your answers — now let's see what God says. Then she holds up the Bible.
The Bible story — Noah, extremely narrow 3:18:58. She invites a carpenter from the church, in a sheet costume, with real tools and wood. Every time God speaks, Noah puts a hand to his ear, looks up, and says “Yes, Lord, I'm listening.” God tells him to measure five feet — the children count. Take the saw. Take the hammer.
She deliberately cuts everything else. Not the animals, not the flood narrative. One tiny section: obeying God by listening carefully and doing exactly what you're told, immediately.
The point underneath it 3:20:29: “Obey my mommy and daddy” means something different to every child — including she can call me three times before I have to come. That isn't obedience. God wants us to obey the first time. And one reason children don't obey is that they weren't paying attention when you told them. So at home: stop, look at me, listen — and don't give the instruction until they're looking and listening.
Questions 3:28:22. First the facts: what happened, who, where, when, in what order. Then the second kind: how did the character get the victory? With David, the army was afraid of Goliath and David wasn't — why? How did he win? Because that's the bridge to the child's own giants. Then application: what pleases God, and how do we obey?
Application games 3:33:13. She acts out coming home from playing and does it wrong — walks in with dirty shoes on. The class jumps up and shouts “Stop!” and tells her what she did wrong. She tries again and kicks the shoes across the room. Stop. Then handwashing: touch the soap and run out. Stop. Turn on the water, throw the towel on the floor. Stop. Then she calls a child up to show the right way.
Why it works: most of them do exactly what she just did. Seeing it from outside lets them evaluate themselves, and then they physically practice obeying.
Mother May I 3:40:03 as an obedience game — the child must listen to a multi-step instruction, ask permission, and perform it exactly; a mistake sends them back to the line. She ran it live with three volunteers and deliberately made the instructions harder than she would for small children, so the room could see what happens on a miss — and how you handle it. “You'll do better next time. Don't worry. I have faith in you.”
She had a volunteer read two of her own lessons aloud, noting she wrote and ran them in Russia, Nepal and Bangladesh.
Ages 7–10 — “No matter how big my problem is, God is always bigger.” Memory verse 1 John 4:4; story David and Goliath. The children color a life-size Goliath outlined on three meters of paper, then trace the smallest child over him to see the difference — while talking about how big problems look when you stare at them. For the story, a tall man carries the smallest child on his shoulders inside one costume to become Goliath, dressed in another room for the surprise. For application, each child attaches a small Goliath to a water bottle labeled with their own real problem, then runs it down with a cardboard sword declaring they aren't afraid of it, because greater is He who is in me.
Her own warnings from having run it: she built cardboard armor that covered the man's eyes and blinded him, so he had to be led out. Plan where Goliath falls — they used a couch — and have a helper get him safely down.
Teens — “Bless and do not curse” 4:00:26. Not a story but a directed discussion study, on James 3, Matthew 12:34–37, and Colossians 3:16–17. The introduction plays a popular song everyone sings without hearing the words, and asks what those words are doing to us. Three ten-minute discussions, each with prepared question cards. Application: rewrite the song's words using Scripture. Then a prayer time — confession about their tongues, forgiveness for those who've been hurt by others' words, breaking curses spoken over them, and declaring what God says about them instead.
Running a discussion group 4:06:26: divide into circles, assign a leader per group, prepare cards, always set a time limit or they'll chat, and tell them in advance that one person will report back. Rotate the leader and the reporter — otherwise the most aggressive personality volunteers every time and no one else gets to develop. The leader's job is making sure everyone speaks, not just one person. And the teacher becomes a classroom manager directing discussion rather than a lecturer.
She was stunned, to the point of tears, at how adults in her Russian training sessions shamed one another. A teacher giving a report from the front would be told from the back to sit down and shut up.
She learned it was cultural and systemic: shaming was standard in the schools, and teachers publicly shamed the parents — calling out a child's parent, who would be afraid to raise a hand.
At the end of a session, the group's leader stood up with his Bible and said her teaching was fine but she didn't know their culture — they had been shamed, paid ten dollars a month, and respected by no one. She prayed not to be offended, and thanked him. Then:
“You're right — I could live the rest of my life in Russia and still not know your culture the way you do. But what I don't understand is this. If you were not shown respect as teachers, and it was a horrible experience — why are you doing this to each other? If you were disrespected by the communist leaders, why would you disrespect your own brothers and sisters?”
She added that she wasn't strong enough to handle the abuse they were giving one another. The room went silent. Someone said we need to repent — and she told them yes, but individually, not as a group performance. They did.
Another instructor who had taught them for four weeks asked her afterward what she had done to the class. “They're so different.” For the first time, they respected one another.
How do you punish a persistently disruptive student?
First, follow whatever your church has set. Then: never publicly embarrass the child. Escalate quietly — walk over and stand beside him, whisper. Then warn him you'll stand there permanently. Then that he'll walk with you, holding your hand, as you teach. “Boys in particular do not want to do that.” She says she has never actually had to reach the last step. Have classroom rules, remind them every time, and visibly enforce them. If it continues, talk privately — and ask “what do you think you did that made me pull you out?” rather than “why did you do it?”, because children often don't know why, and the goal is for him to take responsibility. Loop in your Children's Ministry leader. And pray.
Do reward systems work? 4:22:21
Yes and no. The risk is he performs for the sticker rather than from a changed heart. But for a child getting no training at home, a chart with a star for coming to class or bringing his Bible genuinely helps. Use it sparingly.
How do you work with a child who never speaks? 4:23:59
There are many reasons — personality, home environment. Her own: she started second grade a week late, knew nobody, and the music teacher demanded she stand and sing alone. She was petrified, the teacher pressed harder, and she shut down completely. “The more she got forceful, the more I closed off.” She didn't sing aloud again for years — not until she was saved at 25, not even in a car with the radio on.
She has now taught in 104 countries. One second-grade moment did that. So don't push a child who isn't ready. Pray for them. Talk to them privately, ask how they're doing and whether they understand. Find out if things are all right at home. But don't force them to perform publicly.
What about teachers who yell at children over small things? 4:27:12
Talk to your Children's Ministry leader rather than correcting the teacher yourself, and pray for them. Often people do what was done to them and don't notice they're doing it. Pray their eyes are opened to the effect it has. Meanwhile, step up yourself: speak encouraging words, keep Scriptures on hand for children who look ashamed or hurt. Don't speak against the other teacher — say instead, this is what the Bible says, this is how God sees you, and that's how I see you.
We alternate weeks, and on the other teacher's week nothing sticks. What do I do? 4:29:27
She read the frustration in the question and addressed that first: “Guard your heart. Don't get bitter.” She didn't want that person leaving the ministry over it. Take it to the leader and the pastor over the ministry, and ask them to address preparation with the whole group. And the pastor should be visiting classrooms — teachers who know he's coming raise their game.
What about a parent who criticizes your teaching and pushes their own rules? 4:31:50
“God bless them.” It happens everywhere — she taught in a Christian school, was a principal, and substituted. Ask for grace, pray for the parent, and go to your ministry leader. Don't fight with the parent. Don't cause a scandal. Respect them, hear them out, tell them you're doing your best and are trained for this, and direct them to the pastor if they want things changed. Bring a witness.
Above all: take it away from the children. Never have a heated exchange with a parent or another teacher where children can see. It confuses them badly.
Then the story behind that rule 4:34:15. She was principal of a school she loved. The pastor, who taught in the high school, was sometimes physically aggressive with students. One day, angry, he grabbed her and shoved her against a wall in the hallway — in front of students.
She left. Not in anger — because the children could not be allowed to watch their pastor and their teacher in that. She went home and prayed, and he asked her to come back. The next morning, before her feet hit the floor, the Holy Spirit told her to leave and not look back. So she obeyed. It was wrenching: young boys clung to her weeping, high school football players broke down thinking it was their fault.
And it caused the pastor to get help. He had a tumor pressing on a nerve, which was causing the outbursts — it was not who he was. They have a good relationship now. Her old church sent people to pack her house when she couldn't, and towed her broken-down car. “God took care of everything, because I obeyed.”
A leader from the host church added a note to the younger teachers: criticism is easy to take personally when you're young and just finding your footing with the Lord. Every day you choose — get offended and let the wound deepen, harden, refuse to forgive; or forgive, learn from it, and be refined. It's the same choice with siblings, with parents, in marriage, and with difficult parents in your classroom.
On offense 4:40:41: she pointed the room to the idea that offense is bait — it pulls you from relationship, from fellowship, and eventually from the church and the Lord. Don't take the bait. Release it and choose to forgive.
What if I tell the parents about behavior and they don't care?
Do your best, and if they won't engage, accept it. Don't be angry with them. “They don't care. You do.” Step up, because that child isn't getting what he needs at home. Go the second mile. Love him, accept him, help him grow — whatever his behavior.
Is candy a good reward? 4:43:26
She's a self-declared sweetaholic, but: sugar winds children up, it's bad for their teeth, you don't know their allergies, and you don't know whether their parents allow it. Ask your leader what rewards are acceptable and aim for something more wholesome.
Can you kick a disobedient child out of class? 4:46:10
“That's how you feel on the inside. But don't use that language.” Your goal is for him to want to be in the class, and removal doesn't serve that. Pray, get advice, talk to the parents, talk to your leader. Removal is a last resort — but sometimes necessary, especially if he's being aggressive or inappropriate with another child, because the other children are frightened. Have a written plan for escalation before you need it, make it clear to the children, and repeat and enforce it.
One more thing she added 4:51:42: when you deliver anything unpleasant — evaluating a teacher, or talking to a parent about behavior — sandwich it between two true positives. Don't open with your kid is terrible in class. Open with what you genuinely appreciate about him, state the problem honestly in the middle, and close with something positive.
On natural leaders 4:54:11: born leaders are often the ones causing trouble, because they want to be in charge. Instead of commanding, give them a choice — not sit in that chair but we all need to sit down; where would you like to sit? You're still in charge; you've just changed how you speak to him. “That's what God did. He gave us the choice.” Forcing produces a reaction.
Tanya, the host church's Sunday school coordinator, closed with what they've actually built — offered as ideas to bounce off, not a template. The goal: take the administrative load off teachers so they can spend their time in the Word preparing.
She closed with her mother, who died four years earlier. Gathered around her bed, the family began apologizing for things they'd done as children — and her mother apologized to them, saying she felt she had been a bad mother until she took a class on mothering, after which she finally understood how. Tanya told her she had already been wonderful. But her mother believed she could still grow, so she learned.
“Never stop learning. The more you learn, the more you realize that you don't know anything.”
Teaching sessions broken by lunch and two short breaks, closing with a live Q&A and a host-church segment.
SI
Trained more than 10,000 Sunday school teachers, lived ten years in Russia and six in China, and has taught in 104 countries. A former Christian school principal and junior high science teacher.
Closes the day with how her church actually organizes its Sunday school — 4:57:22.
Reads two of Dr. Sherry's example lessons aloud — 3:48:16.
Why children leave the church, the soil of a child's heart, and the Seven Needs of a Child.
VoxLive carried this session live to every phone in the room — in each listener's own language — and turned the transcript into the summary you just read. Same thing works for a service, a conference, or a classroom.
